Amy Chua created much uproar earlier this year with the publication of her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. In this memoir she describes her “demanding Eastern” parenting model as opposed to the “permissive Western” model exhibited by her fellow American mothers. Parents and experts were shocked by some of her bordering-on-abuse anecdotes and strict rules. Her two daughters were not allowed to: attend a sleepover, have a playdate, be in a school play, complain about not being in a school play, watch TV or play computer games, choose their own extracurricular activities, get any grade less than an A, not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama, play any instrument other than the piano or violin, or not play the piano or violin.
In American culture, much more pervasive than the Tiger Mom is the Soccer Mom, complete with her own set of rules.
Tenets of a soccer mom:
- My child is the brightest, funniest, cutest, most wonderful child ever born, and I will make sure he or she knows I feel that way.
- I will sign my child up for many sports teams, visual arts classes, music lessons, and summer academic camps so that he/she will find his/her own passion at a young age.
- Any attempt at any of these passions will be met with extreme enthusiasm: my child’s artwork will cover my refrigerator, I will send out copies of my child’s first grade poem to friends, and I will casually let it slide at the office that my child placed high in a state math examination.
- If called upon to coach my child’s sports team, I will allow all children equal playing time, and not favor my child over any other.
- My child’s team doesn’t need to win the game to be successful. The goal is to learn to be good teammates.
- If my child does lose a game or make a mistake at a piano recital, I will tell him/her that he/she did his/her best and I’m proud of him/her no matter what.
- I will bring healthy snacks for all the kids after a game, including nutritious granola bars and 100% organic juice boxes.
- For my child’s birthday, I will send along treats to school and make sure my child hands them out to all his/her classmates, excluding no one. In this way, my child will learn to be both humble and generous.